am-i-darren

Just want to share a song with you guys before i run for work. It is a beautiful song by Lisa Loeb - Stay.  It is an old song, some of you might already know the song, but I just recently heard it and was searching for the song. Do download it or buy it(i doubt you guys will buy it anyways, i know i don’t). Download the accoustic version.

You say I only hear what I want toYou say I talk so all the time so

And I thought what I felt was simpleAnd I thought that I don't belongAnd now that I am leavin'Now I know that I did somethin' wrong 'cause I missed youYeah yeah, I missed you

And you say I only hear what I want toI don't listen hard, don't pay attention To the distance that you're runningTo anyone, anywhereI don't understand if you really careI'm only hearing negative No, no, no, no bad

So I turn the radio on, I turn the radio upAnd this woman was singin' my songLover's in love and the other's run awayLover is crying cause the other won't staySome of us hover while we weep for the other who wasDyin' since the day they were bornWell, well, this is not thatI think that I'm throwin', but I'm thrown

And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sureYou try to tell me that I'm cleverBut that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you

You said that I was naive And I thought that I was strong, ohI thought, "Hey I can leave, I can leave"Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, cause I missed youYeah, I missed you

You said, you called me cause you want me And one day you let me goYou try to give away a keeper, or keep meCause you know you're just so scared to loseAnd you say, "Stay"

You say I only hear what I want to

So nice, up until now 13 times already i listened to it……anyway wish me luck, I’m going off to work. I’m working in a fast food Japanese restaurant. Will update more about my part time work when I’m confirmed of working there.

Adios amigos and senoritas!

This post is related to the previous post. This is what my dad said in the reply of his email.

"I just went thru your pictures and hairstyle,and mom has also seen. I
suppose it is OK as you said it is free.From the pics the colour looks
not to bad neither is it good.The most important it must suit you.It
would look better if your hair is shorter or even maybe a crew cut. I
think its part of growing up experimenting,and it should be acceptable
as long as it does not affect your health like smoking and drugs".

I was speechless and shocked ! Wow…how cool is that? He said the color was not bad and as long it suits me ?!?! ….HAHAHAH ….isn’t life just funny. You expect u get the worst and then it just suprises you with something totally opposite. Life is just great. I’m feeling pretty happy now. Hope that your day kickstarted just like mine. Happy Friday the 13th! Muahahaha

Decided to go to the hair saloon today to re-dye my hair.

Here is a before and after picture. Not much difference? I was really blonde before this now it looks like it is reddish.

I kinda like the blondish color because it was something different from the black color I have for 20 years. Suprisingly, some even said that i looked good in that color. Not guys but girls who’ve told me. So I was reluctant to re-dye my hair back to a darker color. But there are some reasons that I did it.

1. When my hair grows, I need to re-dye it. It is difficult to maintain.

2. It will cost me to maintain my hair color. Doesn’t cost much here. For permanent color it is around NZ$ 25. But still, it is money. I can use the money on food and other things rather than my head. So I chose food rather than attracting girls.

3. I’m responsible for causing road accidents. My malaysian mate here, said i look like a traffic light. Apparently when i crossed the road they thought the traffic light turn yellow.

4. My dad. Some of you might already know that my 2nd bro did his hair colour almost like mine and the relationship between them got a little tensed. After that incident, my dad and my bro didn’t really talked to each other until today. So I guess my dad don’t really like it. In fact he does not approve it.

Two days back i sent a link  to my dad in an email updating him with photos of Auckland. I was reluctant to send this link to him because i didn’t know how we would react when he sees my hair colour. So i mentioned in the mail that I did not want to hide from him anymore and ask for his approval. But there isn’t a reply yet. And usually he replies quite fast. So as a precaution i re-dye my hair back to a darker color, so that i don’t offend or make him angry. I was curious and just want to have some fun. That’s all. I didn’t do it to make him angry. It doesn’t change the person I am. I’m still Darren Tan.

Dad, if you are angry at me. I’m sorry. My hair color is no more blonde. I’m back to normal. Take care. If u don’t mind the blonde colour, let me know. Cause i might re-dye again. JUST Kiddin!

Due to popular demand from my loyal followers, kononnya(as if) got people that actually read my blog. In this post I will just take you guys on a short tour around the place I currently call home.

This is Wellesley Student Apartments that is my home for now.

We have a common room on the ground floor equipped with a PLASMA TV with SKY (cable TV).

The pool table area where I usually thrash people…wait or the other way round.

As you walked thru the door, on the right is the kitchen. Check out our supplies!

We have our own living room and a television set with no cable TV, DAMN!

Then this is the hallway that leads into the 5 rooms. Mine is the 2nd room with the door opened.

This is my room. Very basic, a bed, a cupboard, a notice board, a table and a wall shelf.

My table with my IMAC G5 and if u can see new speakers for music. No music, no life man.

That is the “magical love bed”, where all the action goes on. Kidding!

My own notice board. Can recognize anything familiar?

This is the view I have. I can see the city and the harbour.

When I’m bored, I can look into other apartments. No naked girls but just their living rooms.

I live on the 12th floor so when I look down I can see the courtyard. Nice isn’t it?

So that’s about it. This is my crib. Get out now!

This is for you Adrian.

I just want to wish all the mothers out there, Happy Mother’s Day. Without you we are nothing. Even I’m far away from you mom, I hope you have a great day! I love you oh so much and Happy Mother’s Day! And this is for you.

I just want to share a story with you guys.

Before I came over to New Zealand, I was having trouble with my visa. Because the stupid visa can only be done in Singapore. So I was worrying about how I could send my visa application and passport down to Singapore safely. At that time I was a little stressed out because there was deadlines I need to get my visa done, pay my university fees, have my medical check up and in the same time finish my final semester in college. My mom is working in a Singaporean shipping company that is based in Malaysia.  She was trying her best to find someone to send my visa application as she has colleagues that go downs to Singapore weekly.

So one fine day, when I was out somewhere, I received a phone call from my mom. She was asking me about the visa and whether I have any friends going down Singapore. We talked about the issue for a while and in the end I got a little irritated and started to raise my voice at her.  I know I shouldn’t have done that but don’t tell me you guys never done it before! For your info my mom and I aren’t very close. My family is a happy family and so on but we are not those families that talk about everything that happens in our lives. Basically I’m not really close to any of my family members. I regretted raising my voice at her, when she was trying her best to do things for me and make my life easier. For the first time in my life, I have never heard such words what my mom was about to say to me.

Mom: All right. Do what ever you want. I don’t care anymore.

Mom hung up.

I was speechless. I have never heard my mom so angry before. For those who have met my mom, I’m sure you guys know that she is very friendly and caring. She is. I realized straight away what a jerk I was. It was like a tight slap across my face and I was wide-awake. I cried. Yeap, I cried but not like a baby but there were tears in my eyes. I felt so bad and I felt sucky the whole day. All she wants to do is give me the best and in return I raised my voice at her and didn’t even appreciate her efforts. She works so hard to pay for my college fees, my university fees and all I can do is raise my voice at her. I even found out that she asked my brothers and sisters to loan her some money for me to further my studies. Even my second brother’s girlfriend chipped in.

I felt really, really low and for the first time in my life I did something I have never done before. I wrote an apology card saying I am a jerk, sorry for talking to her the way I did and asked her to forgive me. Then I slipped the card in her handbag so that she could read it in the office tomorrow.

At around noon the next day, my mom called me. I was still sleeping but I don’t even dare to raise my voice at her. (some of you might know that I’m very grumpy when you call me in the morning ) So we talked about the visa and so on and before she hung up the phone, she just said:

Mom: I was never angry with you. (She laughed) Bye.

I tell you the feeling was unexplainable. Knowing that she is not angry with me. I felt so relieved and so good. It was just liberating.  After that incident, I think I was even closer to my mom and I’m able to express my feelings to her more.

The point of my story is, no matter what you did or say to your parents, let them know you are sorry. Apologize. It does not hurt for you to say “I’m sorry”. Let them know you love them very much. Without your parents you won’t be here. Thank them, love them, be nice to them, hug them, say I love you to them because they deserve it. Take some time and think about the things they have done for us. Do it while they are still here. Don’t wait till it’s too late and regret. There is no point regretting and crying when they are not here anymore. No more “if” or “ I should have done this” crap. It is not too late to start now. It is never too late. Parents are very simple. They are very forgiving and loving people. Little things that we do for them will just make them smile and happy. That’s not too much to ask right?

Happy Mother’s Day!  I miss and love you mom!